用心
18 June 2010
My mom punished me. Very badly.
She told her friends a story of her own. Grandma punished her one night, since then their relationship turned bad. The reason was because mom wanted grandma to sleep with her. She thought the request was not good enough for grandma to punish her so badly. This has given her a very negative side effect in her life that she did not have courage to form relationship with people anymore. The punishment has destroy the confidence that love would sometimes brings disappointments and rejections.
My mom was afraid of the repetition of this story.
However, there was this Chinese Idiom:
棒下出孝子，慈母多败儿。。。
20 June 2010
At 8pm, Daddy came to mom after punishing me so badly. He to mom not to sleep with me anymore at night. Lately, I started to cry and refusing to sleep straight away during bed time. Daddy and mommy has to punished me many times in order to get me to sleep. And Daddy has been sleeping with me for the past three nights. They thought that was because of my new baby sister Joanna. I got jealous and i had been seeking much more attentions.
Daddy told mommy how badly he has punished me while i had been crying for mom just now. He was angry because he had to punish me so badly in order to get me to sleep. So they had an agreement that they would not accompany me to sleep anymore.
Around 12a.m. that night, Daddy ask mommy did i wake up after he had punished me during 8pm bed time. I was asking for Daddy to sleep with me. Daddy said to mom, 'I think I would sleep with Ern Ern tonight...' Mom looked at him in puzzle, 'I thought you said we would not sleep with Ern anymore...' Daddy told mom, 'This is the last.'
My mom punished me. Very badly.
She told her friends a story of her own. Grandma punished her one night, since then their relationship turned bad. The reason was because mom wanted grandma to sleep with her. She thought the request was not good enough for grandma to punish her so badly. This has given her a very negative side effect in her life that she did not have courage to form relationship with people anymore. The punishment has destroy the confidence that love would sometimes brings disappointments and rejections.
My mom was afraid of the repetition of this story.
However, there was this Chinese Idiom:
棒下出孝子，慈母多败儿。。。
20 June 2010
At 8pm, Daddy came to mom after punishing me so badly. He to mom not to sleep with me anymore at night. Lately, I started to cry and refusing to sleep straight away during bed time. Daddy and mommy has to punished me many times in order to get me to sleep. And Daddy has been sleeping with me for the past three nights. They thought that was because of my new baby sister Joanna. I got jealous and i had been seeking much more attentions.
Daddy told mommy how badly he has punished me while i had been crying for mom just now. He was angry because he had to punish me so badly in order to get me to sleep. So they had an agreement that they would not accompany me to sleep anymore.
Around 12a.m. that night, Daddy ask mommy did i wake up after he had punished me during 8pm bed time. I was asking for Daddy to sleep with me. Daddy said to mom, 'I think I would sleep with Ern Ern tonight...' Mom looked at him in puzzle, 'I thought you said we would not sleep with Ern anymore...' Daddy told mom, 'This is the last.'
The day when we finally meet...
We have met Grace.
She has lots of hair, just like me.
However, she does not look like me. She has too many differences from me.
She has only one nostril, that is why she has to breathe through her mouth. The persistency that she used to be when she was in mum's womb make her wanna live. She did not breathe like how other newborn babies when she first came to this world. But then she picked up breathing by herself! She started to breathe through her pinky little mouth and making a little snoring noise. I know that she just wanna spend more time with us. She did not leave us during the first trimenster, and she kept surviving till almost full term, because she has longed to meet us, just like how we have.
She has six fingers on both her little hands. She must have thought that she could hold us tightly together, as a family. No doubt, she has the most powerful strength in this world to hold four of us all together. Because of her, we learnt more about how to honor our Lord, and put Christ as the center of this family. Her hands have already hold us together that we will be more loving, considering and patient.
She did not open her eyes. That was why she has to feel us with her heart. With her heart, it tells how much we have been loving her. The heart will tell how many loving people have been wanting to meet her. People from Bundy, 20 Scott Grove, Niger, Malaysia, Singapore, China, Canada and Hong Kong.
She did not cry. Her strength from God has sustained her through the whole pregnancy. And this strength has sustained her through the precious time when she was with us. She did not cry, this gave us so much confort that she did not suffer.
Her brain did not form properly. She does not have the wisdom like how we earthly human being have, the wisdom that we thought we could differentiate good and evil like God. She came to the earth with only a children heart, pure and naive, independent and weak. Because of this, her love is pure, her mind is simple, her heart is kind.
Even though she does not look like me, she is my dearly sister.
And we finally met each other, today, 29th of December, 2008.
She has lots of hair, just like me.
However, she does not look like me. She has too many differences from me.
She has only one nostril, that is why she has to breathe through her mouth. The persistency that she used to be when she was in mum's womb make her wanna live. She did not breathe like how other newborn babies when she first came to this world. But then she picked up breathing by herself! She started to breathe through her pinky little mouth and making a little snoring noise. I know that she just wanna spend more time with us. She did not leave us during the first trimenster, and she kept surviving till almost full term, because she has longed to meet us, just like how we have.
She has six fingers on both her little hands. She must have thought that she could hold us tightly together, as a family. No doubt, she has the most powerful strength in this world to hold four of us all together. Because of her, we learnt more about how to honor our Lord, and put Christ as the center of this family. Her hands have already hold us together that we will be more loving, considering and patient.
She did not open her eyes. That was why she has to feel us with her heart. With her heart, it tells how much we have been loving her. The heart will tell how many loving people have been wanting to meet her. People from Bundy, 20 Scott Grove, Niger, Malaysia, Singapore, China, Canada and Hong Kong.
She did not cry. Her strength from God has sustained her through the whole pregnancy. And this strength has sustained her through the precious time when she was with us. She did not cry, this gave us so much confort that she did not suffer.
Her brain did not form properly. She does not have the wisdom like how we earthly human being have, the wisdom that we thought we could differentiate good and evil like God. She came to the earth with only a children heart, pure and naive, independent and weak. Because of this, her love is pure, her mind is simple, her heart is kind.
Even though she does not look like me, she is my dearly sister.
And we finally met each other, today, 29th of December, 2008.
My dear sister, Grace
My little sister, her name is Grace.
It is the same meaning as my name, Ern.
On 9th of Sept we found out from the 18 weeks ultrasound that Grace 's brain was not growing properly, the medical term of the defect was alobar holorprosencephaly, it was a failure of separation of the brain into two halves and is a very serious malformation. And an amniocentesis test was done on that day which showed that there were extra copy of chromosome 13 in every cell of Grace, sometimes babies with trisomy 13 have also some normal cells, but Grace has no normal cell at all. The doctor was telling us that it was so rare for this kind of baby to be able to survive until after the first trimester, but Grace did!
It was such a horrified shock for mom and dad on that particular day. They did not know what to do and they rang Andy. Neil and Andy came to our house and had a chat with mom and dad. Mom's emotion was very unstable and she told them that she decided to go for termination. Babies with trisomy 13 have very slim chances of being survive and normally have alot of suffering in terms of the malfunction of the organs, they might not be able to breath, and not able to swallow things. Mom saw how grandma suffered for 3 days before she died of lung cancer, she was not able to breath and it was like the fish got out from the water. The doctor told mom that some of the babies might suffer pain. She asked the doctor about the process of the termination, and about how to minimise the suffering of my poor Grace. She wanted to be a mom that was able to protect her child and provide her the best condition. She still thought that she could control everything!
But she was wrong. She could not release herself while carrying such a huge burden on her shoulder, the fact that Grace was dying and being a mom she could not do anything to change the situation made her realised that God is the only one that could help her! She poured out everything to Him and let Him take the control, she prayed with all her heart and soul to ask Him for help.
We were praying that Grace could be able to survive but we was also praying that she could leave without too much of the suffering. If she was able to make it to full term and born alive, being her parent, at the first glance of her, mom and dad already need to decide whether to aggresively save her or just let her go, by aggresively saving her, she would be ended up having alot of suffering and yet still die in the end; but letting her go means we might choose not to feed her at all. It just drives us crazy!! How could any parent on the earth able to make such a decision??
Step by step, mom understood alot that she needed God's help. She left every decision to Him because He is also the father of Grace, He is the one that created her and He is the best person to understand what is best for her! The love that He has for us, is the foundation that sustain us through this difficult situation.
Till now, Grace is still actively and happily kicking in mom's womb, she is a strong little girl and she will be stronger than her mom that she will be able to go through any difficult situation. Most importantly, God is with her, and God will provide to her what she needs. Mom had another ultrasound on 5 Nov, the doctor arranged a 3D scan for us to see Grace's face. She thought it would be better if we prepared ourselves before we see her actual face. Baby with trimosy 13 would have facial abnormality. In the scan, we saw Grace's chubby face. She was so cute and she kept rubbing her eyes. Our love for her became so real that we hope we could carry her straightaway in our arms!
There is a bible passage quoted,
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
--Psalms 139
It was such a horrified shock for mom and dad on that particular day. They did not know what to do and they rang Andy. Neil and Andy came to our house and had a chat with mom and dad. Mom's emotion was very unstable and she told them that she decided to go for termination. Babies with trisomy 13 have very slim chances of being survive and normally have alot of suffering in terms of the malfunction of the organs, they might not be able to breath, and not able to swallow things. Mom saw how grandma suffered for 3 days before she died of lung cancer, she was not able to breath and it was like the fish got out from the water. The doctor told mom that some of the babies might suffer pain. She asked the doctor about the process of the termination, and about how to minimise the suffering of my poor Grace. She wanted to be a mom that was able to protect her child and provide her the best condition. She still thought that she could control everything!
But she was wrong. She could not release herself while carrying such a huge burden on her shoulder, the fact that Grace was dying and being a mom she could not do anything to change the situation made her realised that God is the only one that could help her! She poured out everything to Him and let Him take the control, she prayed with all her heart and soul to ask Him for help.
We were praying that Grace could be able to survive but we was also praying that she could leave without too much of the suffering. If she was able to make it to full term and born alive, being her parent, at the first glance of her, mom and dad already need to decide whether to aggresively save her or just let her go, by aggresively saving her, she would be ended up having alot of suffering and yet still die in the end; but letting her go means we might choose not to feed her at all. It just drives us crazy!! How could any parent on the earth able to make such a decision??
Step by step, mom understood alot that she needed God's help. She left every decision to Him because He is also the father of Grace, He is the one that created her and He is the best person to understand what is best for her! The love that He has for us, is the foundation that sustain us through this difficult situation.
Till now, Grace is still actively and happily kicking in mom's womb, she is a strong little girl and she will be stronger than her mom that she will be able to go through any difficult situation. Most importantly, God is with her, and God will provide to her what she needs. Mom had another ultrasound on 5 Nov, the doctor arranged a 3D scan for us to see Grace's face. She thought it would be better if we prepared ourselves before we see her actual face. Baby with trimosy 13 would have facial abnormality. In the scan, we saw Grace's chubby face. She was so cute and she kept rubbing her eyes. Our love for her became so real that we hope we could carry her straightaway in our arms!
There is a bible passage quoted,
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
--Psalms 139
A secret to tell...
i am having something in my mind lately...
ermmm...
Please i need to listen to some ADVICES!!!Please tell me what to do!!!
sop...sop...
i am having my FIRST TWO TEETH!!!!
I am eight months now!!
Ern Ern has graduated!!!
But... y daddy looks so young still???
And Huijia... she still looks beautiful???
Yummy... I like my teething rust...
even though i have no teeth...
I am eight months already! i can play soccer with Joe and Andrew!!
Hurray!!
I am MAN IN ORRANGE! This is my partner, Mr Joe
Guess where I am... I am in Huijia's room...
I have the privilage to get into any girl's room in our house... heheee
this is Huijia's lovely bear bear...
Okie, I am trying to have some reading time now...Cya later!
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